Recular pour Mieux Sauter
‘Why did you come home, Prune?’ she asked…
‘Why did I come back, Ursula?’ she repeated. ‘I have asked myself a thousand times.’
‘And you don’t know?’
‘Yes, I think I do. I think my coming back home was just reculer pour mieux sauter.’
And she looked with a long slow knowledge at Ursula.
‘I know!’ cried Ursula, looking slightly dazzled and falsified, and as if she did not know. ‘But where can one jump to?’
‘Oh, it doesn’t matter, said Gudrun, somewhat superbly. ‘If one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.’
I first read this passage from Women in Love in October 2010, on the plane to LAX for my first trip to the US since I moved to Cambodia more than a year before. I never did finish the book, abandoning it instead for catch-ups with friends and television that used to be unavailable over here. I was reminded of it a few weeks ago though; it’s still sitting on my nightstand outside of Boston, and as I spent weeks in bed recovering from dengue last month, I would see it and remember that line.
This most recent trip to Boston really was “reculer pour mieux sauter,” a retreat to jumper higher, a rest that would hopefully help me finally recover from an aggressive case of dengue.
Two months after my fever first spiked, I am finally back in Battambang, settling into my new life, ready to jump higher. In a way, I hope that’s what this year-long break from writing has been as well; a much-needed rest in order to re-enter the world of blogging (and maybe academia) in a more serious and thoughtful way.
The year since I have written here has been one marked by transition: with Theary and some of our other team members at the Romero Center, I launched a new women’s health NGO, Our Strength (more, much more, on that in the weeks to come); I got into a relationship and moved into an amazing house in downtown Battambang with my partner, and I made the decision to leave Cambodia within the next year to finally go back to school for my Master’s.
There is much more to tell, but as Our Strength’s website and newsletter launch in the next few weeks, I hope my writing will share a little bit about what it looks like to start a new NGO in Battambang with an awesome team of women.