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Dwindling patience

January 3, 2011

This phone conversation has taken place approximately 249 times over the last week…

Me: Hi Theary, how are you?

Theary: I haven’t had the baby yet.

Me: I just asked how you are!

Theary: But I know you want to know if I’m in labor. I promise, you’re the first one I’ll call.

Me: After your husband.

Theary: After my husband.

Me: Did you eat spicy food yet?

Theary: Yes. And pineapple. And I walked up the stairs four times.

Me: Can I talk to Jeremy?

Theary: Sure. (Moves the phone to her stomach.)

Me: COME OUT NOW.

Theary: Are you done? I’ll call you if anything changes.

Me: Yup. Talk to you in a few hours.

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