This phone conversation has taken place approximately 249 times over the last week…
Me: Hi Theary, how are you?
Theary: I haven’t had the baby yet.
Me: I just asked how you are!
Theary: But I know you want to know if I’m in labor. I promise, you’re the first one I’ll call.
Me: After your husband.
Theary: After my husband.
Me: Did you eat spicy food yet?
Theary: Yes. And pineapple. And I walked up the stairs four times.
Me: Can I talk to Jeremy?
Theary: Sure. (Moves the phone to her stomach.)
Me: COME OUT NOW.
Theary: Are you done? I’ll call you if anything changes.
Me: Yup. Talk to you in a few hours.